


Loss of a friend

by Ashoul



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:41:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29148351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashoul/pseuds/Ashoul
Summary: The night of Sasha's death Connie asks Jean how to get over losing a friend. At that question Jean is plagued by memories of Marco.
Relationships: Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	Loss of a friend

The candle flickered as Jean pressed the match to it. The flame danced in the once dark room filling it with a dim, shaky light. Jean turned to his friend who was sitting on his bed, face in his hands. Jean sat beside his shaking comrade and put his arm around him. Connie lifted his head and stared blankly at the wall infront of him. He sat there for a few moments as Jean continued to hold onto him with an arm.

Connie sucked in a trembling breath, “Is she really gone, Jean?” Jean tensed at his friend’s question but didn’t answer him as Connie continued, “Are we going to go sleep and be woken up at an ungodly hour of the morning by her for breakfast? Will Mikasa have to drag her back to their room for a few extra hours of sleep? After breakfast will we go walk around her village and help around at her family’s stable? Will she ever come back, Jean. Tell me she’s coming back.” Connie choked on his words and let his head drop. 

Jean felt tears brimming around his eyes and he pulled Connie up and into a hug. He held onto his friend tightly as though if he let go he would disappear and fade away just as Sasha had. Connie let his tears fall like rain down his cheeks and soak into Jean’s collared shirt. Connie tried to speak once more but it came out as hardly even a whisper. Jean hummed as though to ask him to repeat what he said. Connie spoke louder this time, “How do you get over the loss of a friend, Jean.”

…

Jean sat outside the barracks with a scowl plastered across his face. He grumbled angrily, “Eren’s an idiot. I don’t see why I got lectured and he was let off with just a warning.” He kicked at the ground and leaned back against what he thought was a wall. When his head touched the front of a pair of legs he jolted forward and spun around. Marco smiled at him and waved, “Hey, Jean.” The dark haired boy walked forward with his hands neatly held behind him.

Marco leaned down so he was eye level with Jean, “Wanna go walk around town to get your mind off of things?” Jean rolled his eyes, “We have training later this afternoon don’t we?”. Marco shook his head, “Nope! Sasha told me that we have the day off.” Jean raised a brow in suspicion, “You sure?” Marco faked a look of hurt shock, “Are you calling me a liar, Jean-boy?”

Jean pushed Marco out of his face, “Cut it out with the nickname. I don’t care if I like you I’ll still beat the shit out of you just like I did Eren.” Marco giggled a little as Jean stood up and started making his way across the clearing. He sprinted a bit to catch up before falling into place beside the shorter boy, “Why didn’t you  _ beat the shit  _ out of Armin when he called you Jean-boy?” Jean rolled his eyes, “Cause then Mikasa would’ve beat the shit out of me.” Marco snorted, “Fair fair!”.

The pair had reached the city of Trost where Jean lived before joining the cadets. Marco tugged at Jean’s arm excitedly, “Come on! Come on! Come on!” Jean struggled to keep up with the taller boy as he pulled him through town. Marco suddenly stopped and Jean crashed into his back. He pulled back and rubbed his forehead, “Ow! What was that for, jackass?” Marco turned around excitedly, his light brown eyes shone as he pointed to a stand with a sign for fresh baked bread. 

Jean could not help but smile at the excited boy infront of him, “Do you have money?” Marco suddenly frowned, “Shit…” the woman behind him let out a small laugh before reaching into her basket and pulling out two jelly stuffed biscuits. She smiled as she held them out to the two boys, “You’re Mrs Kirstien’s boy, right?” Jean nodded as he took one of the biscuits and handed the other to Marco. “Anything for her, have a good day boys.” 

Marco walked away with a goofy smile on his face, “Jean, you never told me your bloodline was absolute gold.” Jean rolled his eyes as he bit into the biscuit, “What do you mean? It’s just bread? They give me things randomly all the time just because of my mom’s cooking.” Marco smiled brightly as he began to eat his biscuit. Jean followed Marco to a bench at the edge of the walkway and sat down beside the boy. Jean finished off his biscuit and looked at Marco who was stifling a giggle. 

“What’s funny?” Jean questioned him. Marco reached out and wiped a drop of jelly off the boy’s face. Marco licked the jelly off his finger, “You’re like a messy kid.” Jean blushed bright red and scoffed, “At least I don’t sleep talk.” Marco let out a startled sound, “H-hey! You said you would not talk about it!” Jean smirked, “Aye, Marco. Need a refresher on what you were talking about at four in the morning?” 

Marco’s hands quickly flew over Jean’s mouth, “No no no no no! I’m good! I’m good!” Jean chuckled as he began to speak only to be silenced by Marco in a way he did not expect. Marco’s lips pressed against his. Jean, without hesitation, kissed him back but after a few moments Marco pulled back leaving Jean in a state of shock. Jean opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Marco began panicking, “Oh shit, Jean! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I just was not thinking and somehow my brain shut off and then next thing I know I was kissing you and I-” Marco’s flustered apologizes were cut off by Jean as he grabbed the back of Marco's head and pulled him back into a kiss. 

Marco didn’t know how long Jean wanted to kiss him but never knew when was the right time. Everytime Jean got the courage to try and kiss the freckled boy someone would walk in and interrupt whatever conversation they had going. Jean pulled away and gazed lovingly into Marco’s light brown eyes. Marco blushed bright red and buried his face in his hands. Jean jumped, startled, “Oi! Marco?” Marco silently screamed into his hands before sitting back up and exhaling heavily, “Somehow that wasn’t the biggest gay panic I’ve ever eperienced because of you.” 

Jean snorted and burst into laughter, “Wait really?” Marco nodded, “Yeah. There was one time about a year ago when we were in the barracks and one of the beds broke so you ended up sleeping with me. You were very warm and you looked very cute sleeping.” Jean chuckled, “So you watched me sleep?” Marco stammered, “Well- I mean- Yeah! You were like  _ centimeters  _ from my face. I might have kissed your nose by the way.” Jean rubbed his chin quizicaly, “So that wasn’t a dream. Good to know.” 

Marco was a blushing mess, “Please tell me you’re joking.” Jean leaned against the taller cadet, “Can’t say I am. If I do remember correctly you also said that you loved me.” Marco shuffled his feet, “Yeah.” Jean leaned closer into Marco until he fell into his lap, gazing up at him, “Do you still?” Marco raised a brow at the boy using his lap as a pillow, “Would I have kissed you if I didn’t?” Jean shrugged, “Guess I’ll never know.” Marco grumbled, “Yes, Jean. I love you.” Jean smiled, “I love you too, Marco.” 

“We should head back.” Marco sighed. Jean nodded and heaved himself up. He stood up, grabbing Marco’s hand. Marco smiled at the gesture and walked beside the shorter boy, “What will the others say?” Marco spoke his thoughts as the two continued to walk through town back towards the training grounds. Jean rolled his eyes, “If they say anything I’m kicking their asses.” Marco laughed, “Even if it’s Mikasa or Annie?” Jean stopped his snarky remark and let out a nervous laugh, “I will hurt them with words.” Marco giggled, “My big, strong, boyfriend is afraid of two girls half his size.” Jean snickered, “You won’t be saying that after you see Annie flip Reiner like he’s a pillow.”

…

Jean held onto Connie’s shirt, “I…” no words came out. Pain engulfed him and left him vulnerable and aching. Finally words came to him but they were not exactly helpful, “I don’t know.” Jean’s voice shook as memories of Marco flooded into his mind. Connie still held onto him, “I’m tired of losing people. Marco, My village, my mom and dad, Sunny and Martin, Ymir, Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, and now Sasha… please don’t go away. I don’t want to lose you too.” 

Jean had seen Connie vulnerable like this a few times before but never this bad. “Connie, I-” Connie cut him off, “Promise me! Promise you won’t leave.” Jean held Connie tighter, “I’m not going anywhere. Come on, man. We have to be tough. Sasha is totally laughing her ass off right now at us.” Connie couldn’t help but let out a small laugh as he wiped the tears from his face, “Yeah. Sorry I soaked your shirt with my crying.” Jean laid a hand on his shoulder, “It’s alright. We should get some sleep, m’kay?” Connie nodded, “Night, Jean.” Jean smiled, “Night, Connie.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't ship don't read 😤


End file.
